buenos dias mother effers. are you looking to eat a freaking awesome hamburger? if so, look no further. but let's be serious. who doesn't love hamburgers? i know you wished your life was like jughead jones from the archie comics and wear a crown on your head and eat burgers all day long because he made it look delicious and you want something that looks that effing good to fill your empty belly.
do you like fries? OF COURSE YOU DO. they got those here. hot, crisy and tasty as a mofo. real potatoes? I HAVE NO CLUE. it's real delicious though. and that's all that matters. i could care less about my fast food and if it's fresh produce or not. neither did moose and look at him. he got with midge. what a hottie.
do you like peanuts? if so, they got mountains of this stuff for you to consume while you are waiting for your food or are in line. and that mess is free. people say nothing in life is free? THEY ARE WRONG. peanuts at five guys are. as free as the air that the gang breathes at riverdale high. BOOM. two things that are free in life. parents lie. don't like peanuts or have an allergy? DON'T EAT THAT MESS AND LET THE PEOPLE WHO CAN/DO ENJOY THEM.
if you are finally ready to stop reading this review and finally taste this burger of awesomeness, get in your jalopy and head over here so you can stop wasting your life away on missing out on this deliciousness.
people ask, is this the best burger? with that i respond with, if you leave there and do not think the burger tasted good, i will give you my archie comics collection.
i still have my collection. all 517 issues and counting.
plus double effing digests.